Kid Rock is in the Drivethru:

After hitting up every hotel in Moab we finally decided to believe the folks that were telling us there was no lodging in the area…or even in the next town, or the next, or the…you get the idea. We never found out what the rush on rooms was about but it seemed to have something to do with the fact that every small town in the area had invented some festival for that time of year. There was the pit toilet festival, the raccoon and other rodents festival, the tubers and tomatoes festival and of course my favorite the homeless go home festival in friendly Fruita Colorado (I’ll get back to that one). So we were recovering from a very long day in the sun, covered in salt, like the Morton lady without her umbrella, a little bit sore and super hungry. The prospect of waiting for a shower and food was not a welcome one but we knew if we ate we would surely fall asleep while driving. We pressed on while Dave bravely forged new lines of conversation designed to keep my eyelids from closing. When we finally crossed in to Colorado we were certain that this was the promised land, you know…the promise of a bed, the promise of a meal, the promise of a shower, but these myths were quickly dispelled by the clerk behind the desk who delighted in telling us about the awful time we would have that evening. “It’s gonna be a really rough night for you folks, no lodging for hours”. We knew we couldn’t drive for hours so we needed to come up with a game plan. We decided gas and food were a necessity so we fueled up, stumped a cashier with the phrase “lodging situation” and parked the truck to get some fast food. As we walked towards the Wendy’s (I was breaking my Wendy’s ban even though I still believe that they step on all their burgers with cleated shoes and that should not be tolerated). The lights turned off. Not to be deterred we headed for the drive thru, now yes I understand the concept of a drive thru is to actually “drive” thru however that doesn’t work with a 44’ truck, so we hoofed it hoping for the best. When we got no response we walked up to the window and quickly discovered that they weren’t just ignoring us (they were ignoring us) they were also closing. Damn. Hunger. Need shower. Need food. As we sat in the parking lot we decided to cross the street and try our luck at McDonalds which was boastfully open 24 hours. When the door was locked we realized that it was drive-thru only and again we had been foiled! We wandered to see if there was anything else open at 11:15 pm in Fruita Colorado when we bravely decided to try the hotel that we were walking past despite smug clerks declaration of no lodging. They had just released one room which the owner happily sold us. He got Dominoes on the phone for us and luckily they were closed or else our food problems might have been too quickly solved. We decided with the security of a place to sleep we would try walking through the drive thru at McDonalds. We got up to the window where the trainee said she thought it would be okay but had to check with someone. Her manager high on power at getting to decide whether we would be allowed to spend our money or not, related that since Kid Rock rolled through here he would allow us to as well. Now we can’t quite figure out if Kid Rock somehow paved the way for us, if this dude was a nut or if perhaps he was quoting a song but either way, Thanks Kid Rock. On the way back to the hotel Dave stopped and pointed in disbelief at a sign. When I looked up I was dumbfounded. I’ve seen a lot of despicable behavior before, but never have I seen a town so proudly display it’s Scarlet Letter. The sign was a picture of a cardboard sign that someone might make to ask oncoming traffic for money. There was the Ghostbuster's circle and slash through the sign and something about giving change won’t make change. There were a host of businesses signed on to it, including the United Way and it was just disgusting. Who could have known that Fruita Colorado would be such a tolerant place! When we later researched the town’s website to see how deeply rooted their discriminatory practices were we discovered that the town itself was panhandling funds to save some bridge. I thought about making my own sign against the cities bridge fundraising efforts but I really needed to get to Michigan before Juliette’s wedding celebration. I still haven’t ruled out an open letter to the city council however. Aah, hypocrisy is a strange animal.

Natures Golden Arches:

We pitched our tent at a place that resembled a Flinstones family reunion and found ourselves two sites down from the folks that we chuckled about at the last campground. They arrived just after us and inquired about the same spot we had opted out of. When we saw them climbing into their car with women who looked like they had packed their manicurist and coif arrangers we panicked that we would have to out drive them to reach what could very well be the only remaining camp site in Moab. When they pitched their giant tent we wondered if there would be room for the guys among all the makeup cases. We actually rolled up just after them so I was able to demonstrate my newly discovered talent at parallel parking (sorta) a 44’ truck. I felt like a true badass! We sat in the shadow of the giant red rocks watching the sun glow as it fell behind us. Dave cooked up the most perfect Nathan’s dogs ever as we watched the remainder of the meteors burning up as they fell. Morning brought us an early start where we found the neighbors primping in the bathroom in an act that must have left them hours behind schedule. We drove up the edge of the cliff on a winding road that built excitement as we climbed. Each turn brought a beautiful new vista and we felt like Christmas morning, new package to discover after new package. The day was hot but dry and we slowly made our way out to Delicate arch, one of the most breathtaking sights I have ever seen. Hardly another sole was out there and we took our time running around the sunken bowl that it sat in. We found a little outcropping that afforded us the perfect picnic spot and ate the remainder of our melted ‘spank your momma good’ cheese (aka Beechers) while dangling our feet over the valley below. One of the many great things about traveling with Dave is his appreciation for all things, including the simplest of sights. It was a great treat to explore Arches with someone who could appreciate the stray spider, mother crow or even an array of pebbles that caught my eye. We spent all day taking in as much as we could. As the sun lit fire to the rocks we made our way back to the truck for our departure. Dave made a quick run by the restroom to see if he could freak out any oversees, elderly women dropping their kids off at the pool…a successful mission. Before making our getaway we opened the back of the truck to grab some water and all our emptys came crashing to the ground. As we picked up the broken glass I cut my finger and went looking for some paper towels in the car. In doing this I was pleased to discover that the entire case of Coke we left on the front seat of the car in the burning hot sun had decided that the cans could no longer contain their excitement. We spent the next 20 minutes absorbing the sticky goodness from the seat, the window, the vents, the floorboards, etc. etc. Once that was done we looked down to realize that every ant in all of arches had covered the trash bag with the broken bottles, the cola coated paper towels and of course the shrapnel of coke cans. We managed to escape their wrath but had to stow the whole monstrosity in the back of the truck until we could find a safe place to dispose of the evidence. We decided that a steak dinner and a comfy hotel were in order for the night. One last beautiful night in Moab before we headed to Colorado..after all time was still on our side!

First thing in the Morning:

This now our roughly seventh conversation with the roadside assistance folks at Budget, they assured us that they would be out there first thing in the morning to look at our complaints. Perhaps as early as 6am. At 10:30 we stumbled outside to greet them and the guy warned us that we shouldn’t have been driving on that other tire….yeah, the one that we wanted replaced 150 miles ago or so. When he pulled off another tire the braking mechanism crumbled to the ground like a kid losing at jacks. But no worries because he said we didn’t really need that brake so replacing it was not necessary. We did score a third new tire however and were on the road by at least 3:30 or something early like that. That night we got to see the meteor shower from the truck and while Dave misses everything, he was able to see a few including the super cool exploding one. Luckily we were able to make it to Ogden Utah because the Cherry festival was in town and that seemed to bring out the best in people. One guy at an Arby’s even offered us a phone book in lieu of the directions he couldn’t give us to find the highway that he works 4 miles from. We tried calling the highway but it was busy intersecting with an onramp …yeah that was bad but I couldn’t help myself. Anyway, who gives you a phone book to find a highway. This was also the town where the pictures disappear from your camera and the hotel rooms are made of glass like a pet store. We solved the picture mystery in time but I still couldn’t tell you why they thought it was a good idea to build puppy displays for hotel rooms. Later that day we arrived in Moab Utah. Fortunately there were no camping spots left and very little in town either. We were offered a tiny triangle that was basically a speed bump on a corner of the racetrack that winds around the perimeter of the campground. We were tempted but thought we might as well just set the alarm clock instead of opting for the Goodyear wake up call.

Westbnd...I Mean Eastbound at last:

When the budget truck rental dude called me to smooth things over after our spat the day before, I knew it was going to be a good trip. The next day found us discovering that even 4 ½ hours at a Public Storage facility while the lights on your trailer are being fixed can be fun and the following day was no different. After more trailer antics we found ourselves in the parking lot of a Home Depot attempting to draw plans to build a ramp that would allow us to drive our car on to the trailer. Yes I realize that usually when you rent a CAR carrier, it should be capable of carrying your car without much hassle, but then again that would have been so blasé. Luckily we had a hunch that a simpler way lurked nearby and that’s when we met Doug the ex-tow truck driver. Doug had everything rigged in about ten minutes despite the messed up equipment we were provided with. He gave us some advice, smiled about his family and sent us packing. Now I know this is the part where we should have hopped on any highway going east, but we had been reassured over and over that we were leaving an excessive amount of time for ourselves to finish this trip…so I needed to say Goodbye to the Pacific and Dave needed to make it’s acquaintance. Later on we communed with the Sea Lions met some people who didn’t like the dumpster we were standing near and headed for Washington. Honestly that’s the quickest way back east! So Eastbound as we were what could slow us down but a rubber spewing smoke belching flat tire. Oh, and yes, we were still in Oregon at this point. We mentioned to the guy that came out from Les Schwaab about the other tire that looked bad but while he agreed it wasn’t good, he was willing to gamble that it might make it to Michigan. Several hours later in Idaho while trapped in the parking lot of a hotel that had no lodging (or parking, hence the trapped part), we learned the finer points of driving a 40’+ truck backwards up a hill with a curve in it surrounded by cars, pillars and a wall. Dave got it within an inch of where we needed to be which was really quite impressive considering I was uselessly giggling at the ridiculousness of the situation and Obie One Kanobi the hotel grave shift worker was full of helpful advice. We stumbled upon a humble man who drives a very small trailer “nothing like this”, but was willing to give that last inch a go and we were free again. Except this time we noticed the awful grating noise it was making was not just a reverse thing but rather the state of our truck. It felt like the wheels were rectangular and not fond of turning. This was when we got a room in beautiful Boise Idaho.